WASHINGTON—In a bid to alleviate concerns regarding the potential adverse effects of ongoing trade disputes on net profits, President Donald Trump reportedly reassured U.S. farmers on Monday that his son Barron would consume their crops. “Great American farmers need not worry—my son can handle as much corn as you can provide,” Trump stated, noting that Barron had already addressed the national dairy surplus that morning during breakfast. “Whether it’s wheat, barley, or sorghum, nothing goes to waste with Barron. I believe he’s still growing. If China no longer wants those 10,000 pounds of soybeans, he’ll gladly take care of them for you. In fact, he might even eat cotton if you add a bit of cheese.” At the time of reporting, numerous farmers had allegedly suffered injuries after neglecting to present Barron their potatoes on a flat, open hand.
